Beauology 101: I Have Questions…
by Beau Smith
When it comes to comic books, films, TV shows….LIFE….I have questions, lots of them. Who has the answers?
I’m hoping you do.
Reed Richards’s hair. Is it going white, or is it going brunette?
In your “Reader’s Mind” how old are Superman, Batman, The Joker, Harley Quinn, Robin, and B’Wana Beast?
If this were 1977, would Burt Reynolds not be the perfect Iron Man/Tony Stark for that time period?
If this were 1977, would Robert Conrad not be the perfect Wolverine for that time period?
Be honest, just once…one time…wouldn’t you like to read an issue of The Punisher where he’s happy, laughing and crackin’ wise the whole issue?
Do you really understand Howard The Duck, or are you just afraid others won’t think you “get it”?
Why don’t superheroes/super villains in all their various costumes ever complain about how hot they are in the middle of Summer?
Aren’t you glad the movies FINALLY got The Hulk/Bruce Banner right?
Am I the only one growing up reading the Stan Lee/Steve Ditko Amazing Spider-Man era thought that it took place in the 1940s and ‘50s?
Do we really need this many Batman books?
When Doctor Don Blake was Thor, would you have trusted him to show up for your appointment?
Growing up watching TV and reading comic books in the ‘60s couldn’t understand why Gilligan (Gilligan’s Island), Doctor Smith (Lost In Space), and Aunt May (Amazing-Spider-Man) weren’t killed off by friends, family, or the writers after their first appearance…are you with me?
Speaking of 1960s TV, after watching The Invaders, I never truly trusted anyone again. Do I trust you? (That’s right, I’m checking YOUR hands to see if you have six fingers…)
Why hasn’t anyone ever written a superhero comic book where only the superheroes wear regular clothes and normal people all wear costumes?
Do you think capes on a superhero are a very bad idea for fighting, or are you a slave to fashion?
If you owned an Amazing Fantasy #15 in 9.9 condition, (first appearance of Spider-Man) would you keep it, or sell it?
What’s the first comic book you ever read? Mine was Batman #143.
What’s the most you ever paid for a comic book? (Me, it was Sub-Mariner #17 Golden Age. I paid $35.00 in the early ‘80s)
If you could be drawn by any comic book artist ever, who would it be? (Mine would be Don Heck)
If The Walking Dead were real life (In episodes/Issues), how long would you last?
If you could be one superhero, who would it be? (Me—B’Wana Beast, ‘cause I’m just that crazy.)
What character would you like to see get their own Marvel movie? (Me, Sub-Mariner)
What character would you like to see get their own DC Comics movie? (Me, B’Wana Beast.)
Who wins in a fight, The Juggernaut or Doomsday?
Who wins in a fight, Aquaman or The Sub-Mariner?
Who wins in a fight, The Hulk or B’Wana Beast? (B’Wana Beast-every time. “Nothing Stops Me!”)
Who wins in a fight, Beau Smith or Billy Tucci?
Thank you for reading, thinking about, and answering (even in your mind) these questions. I appreciate your time, your thoughts, and you tolerating my always childish ways. That leads me to my last and hardest question….
Why do we have to grow up?
Your eternal child,
Beau Smith
The Flying Fist Ranch
Follow my immaturity at @BeauSmithRanch on Twitter and Instagram
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